Mediation for Michigan Family Disputes: Save Time and Money

Going through a divorce or custody dispute is stressful enough without spending months in court battles that drain your finances and emotional reserves. There’s a better way. Family law mediation offers Michigan families an alternative that’s typically faster, less expensive, and far less adversarial than traditional litigation.

Mediation isn’t about giving up or giving in. It’s about taking control of your own outcome rather than leaving decisions to a judge who doesn’t know your family. When both parties are willing to negotiate in good faith, mediation can resolve even complicated disputes while preserving relationships and protecting children from the crossfire of parental conflict.

At Boroja, Bernier & Associates, we help clients throughout Southeast, Central and Mid Michigan explore mediation as an option for resolving family law matters. Here’s what you need to know about how mediation works and whether it might be right for your situation.

What Is Family Law Mediation?

Mediation is a process where a neutral third party—the mediator—helps two people in a dispute reach their own agreement (MCR 3.216). Unlike a judge, the mediator doesn’t decide who wins or impose solutions. Instead, they facilitate communication, help identify common ground, and guide both parties toward mutually acceptable resolutions. Mediators do not provide legal advice or advocate for either party, which is why independent legal review is essential.

In family law, mediation can address:

Division of property and debts in divorce
Spousal support amounts and duration
Child custody and legal decision-making
Parenting time schedules
Child support calculations
Post-divorce modifications
Any other family law dispute where both parties are willing to negotiate

The mediator remains neutral throughout the process. They don’t represent either party or advocate for one side over the other. Their job is to help both of you communicate effectively and find solutions that work for your family. Mediation depends on both parties participating voluntarily and in good faith.

Mediation is confidential. What’s said in mediation generally cannot be used in court if mediation fails. Confidentiality is governed by court rules and mediator agreements and is subject to limited legal exceptions. This encourages honest communication without fear that admissions or offers will be held against you later.

Why Choose Mediation Over Court?

Litigation is sometimes necessary, but it comes with significant drawbacks. Mediation offers compelling advantages for families willing to try it.

Lower cost. Court battles are expensive. Attorney fees for contested divorces can easily reach $15,000 to $50,000 or more. Mediation typically costs a fraction of that—often $3,000 to $7,000 total for both parties, depending on complexity. Actual costs vary based on case complexity, number of sessions, and attorney involvement. Even with attorneys involved in mediation, costs are usually substantially lower than litigation.

Faster resolution. Court cases take months or years. Between waiting periods, discovery, motions, and scheduling trials, contested divorces often drag on for 12 to 18 months or longer. Mediation can resolve disputes in a matter of weeks. Many cases settle in just two to four sessions.

More control. In court, a judge makes decisions for you. They don’t know your family, your children’s needs, or what matters most to you. In mediation, you and your spouse create your own agreement. You control the outcome rather than leaving it to a stranger in a black robe.

Less adversarial. Litigation is inherently combative. Each side fights to win, often at the other’s expense. This damages relationships and makes future co-parenting harder. Mediation encourages cooperation, which helps preserve a working relationship—especially important when you’ll be raising children together for years to come.

Better for children. Children suffer when their parents fight. Witnessing conflict—even when it happens in court rather than at home—takes a toll. Mediation models healthy conflict resolution and shields children from the worst of parental disputes.

More creative solutions. Courts apply legal rules that may not fit your unique situation. Mediation allows creative solutions tailored to your family’s specific needs. Maybe you want an unusual parenting time arrangement, or you’d prefer to keep the family home until the youngest child graduates. Mediation can accommodate these preferences in ways litigation often can’t.

Privacy. Court proceedings are public record. Anyone can access filings and attend hearings. Mediation is private and confidential, keeping your family’s business out of public view.

How the Mediation Process Works

Understanding what to expect helps you prepare for a successful mediation experience.

Step 1: Choosing a mediator.

You and your spouse select a mediator together. Mediators may be attorneys, retired judges, mental health professionals, or specially trained professionals. Look for someone with family law experience and a style that fits your needs. Some mediators are more directive; others are more facilitative. Your attorney can recommend qualified mediators in your area.

Step 2: Initial preparation.

Before the first session, you’ll typically complete intake paperwork and gather relevant documents—financial statements, tax returns, property information, existing court orders. The mediator may meet briefly with each party individually to understand the issues and dynamics involved.

Step 3: Mediation sessions.

Sessions typically last two to four hours. You and your spouse meet together with the mediator (and your attorneys, if you choose to have them present). The mediator establishes ground rules, identifies the issues to be resolved, and guides discussion.

You’ll work through issues one at a time. The mediator helps you understand each other’s perspectives, brainstorm options, and evaluate potential solutions. When you reach agreement on an issue, the mediator documents it before moving to the next topic.

Some mediations resolve everything in one long session. Others require multiple sessions spread over weeks. Complex cases with significant assets or contested custody may need four to six sessions or more.

Step 4: Reaching agreement.

When you’ve resolved all issues, the mediator prepares a written memorandum of understanding or mediation agreement summarizing what you’ve decided. This document isn’t automatically legally binding—it becomes enforceable when incorporated into a court order. Until court approval, a mediation agreement does not have the force of a judgment or custody order.

Step 5: Legal review and finalization.

Each party should have their own attorney review the mediation agreement before signing. Attorney review before signing is strongly recommended even if attorneys do not attend mediation sessions. Your attorney ensures you understand the legal implications and that the agreement protects your interests.

Once reviewed, the agreement is submitted to the court and incorporated into your final judgment. Courts will not approve mediation agreements involving children unless they comply with Michigan law and the child’s best interests.

When Mediation Works Best

Mediation isn’t right for every situation, but it works well in many circumstances. Mediation is a problem-solving process, not a guarantee of settlement, and unsuccessful mediation does not prejudice either party’s right to litigate.

Mediation is often effective when:

Both parties genuinely want to resolve matters without extended conflict
You can communicate with your spouse, even if it’s difficult
Both parties are willing to disclose financial information honestly
You want to maintain a functional co-parenting relationship
Privacy is important to you
You want more control over the outcome than court provides
You’re willing to compromise to reach resolution

Mediation may be challenging when:

There’s a significant power imbalance between spouses
One party is hiding assets or refusing to disclose financial information
One party is determined to “win” at all costs rather than reach fair compromise
Communication has completely broken down
Urgent issues require immediate court intervention

When Mediation Is Not Appropriate

While mediation offers many benefits, some situations call for court intervention instead.

Domestic violence. When there’s a history of abuse, mediation can put the victim at a disadvantage. The power imbalance created by abuse makes genuine negotiation difficult or impossible. Victims may agree to unfavorable terms out of fear. Mediation may also be inappropriate where fear, coercive control, or power imbalance exists, even without physical violence. If domestic violence is present, consult with an attorney about whether mediation is safe and appropriate.

Substance abuse or mental health crises. Active addiction or untreated mental illness can prevent meaningful participation in mediation. If one party isn’t capable of rational decision-making, mediation is unlikely to succeed.

Hidden assets. Mediation relies on both parties sharing complete financial information. Failure to fully disclose financial information can invalidate mediated agreements and lead to future legal challenges. If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets or income, you may need the formal discovery tools available through litigation to uncover the truth.

Refusal to participate. Mediation is voluntary. Both parties must be willing to engage in good faith. If your spouse refuses to participate or uses mediation to delay rather than resolve, court may be your only option.

Emergency situations. When immediate court orders are needed—for protection, temporary custody, or preventing asset dissipation—you may need to file motions before pursuing mediation.

Even in difficult cases, limited mediation may be possible. Some couples successfully mediate certain issues while litigating others. A hybrid approach can reduce the scope of court involvement.

Preparing for Successful Mediation

How you prepare significantly affects your mediation outcome. Going in ready makes resolution more likely.

Gather financial documents. Bring tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, retirement account statements, mortgage information, and any other relevant financial records. Complete financial disclosure is essential for fair agreements.

Know what you want. Before mediation, think carefully about your priorities. What matters most to you? What are you willing to compromise on? What’s non-negotiable? Having clear goals helps you negotiate effectively.

Understand what’s realistic. Research Michigan law on property division, support, and custody. Understanding what a court would likely order helps you evaluate whether mediation proposals are reasonable. Your attorney can help you assess this.

Keep emotions in check. Divorce is emotional, but mediation works best when you can set aside anger and hurt to focus on practical solutions. If you need to process feelings, do that with a therapist or counselor—mediation isn’t therapy.

Focus on the future. Relitigating the past rarely helps. Mediation is about creating workable arrangements for life after divorce. Keep your eyes forward.

Consider your children’s needs. If you have kids, their best interests should guide your decisions. Think about what arrangements will provide them stability, maintain their relationships with both parents, and minimize disruption.

Consult with an attorney. Even if you don’t have your attorney attend mediation sessions, consulting one beforehand helps you understand your rights and evaluate proposals. Many attorneys offer “mediation coaching”—advising clients through the mediation process without attending sessions.

The Role of Attorneys in Mediation

You can mediate with or without attorneys present. Both approaches have advantages.

Mediation without attorneys in the room is often less expensive and can feel less adversarial. The parties communicate directly with each other. However, you risk agreeing to terms without fully understanding the legal implications.

Mediation with attorneys present provides real-time legal advice. Your attorney can help you evaluate proposals, identify issues you might overlook, and ensure agreements protect your interests. This typically costs more but reduces the risk of unfavorable outcomes.

Consulting attorneys between sessions is a middle ground. You attend mediation without attorneys but review proposals with your lawyer before agreeing. This balances cost savings with legal protection.

Regardless of approach, both parties should have independent attorneys review any final agreement before signing. Attorney review before signing is strongly recommended even if attorneys do not attend mediation sessions. This is your last chance to catch problems before the agreement becomes binding.

Frequently Asked Questions About Family Law Mediation in Michigan

Is mediation required in Michigan divorce cases?

It depends on the court and the issues involved. In many Michigan courts, mediation is required in contested custody cases before a judge will allow the case to proceed to trial. Some courts encourage or require mediation for other disputed issues as well. Even when not required, mediation is often a smart choice.

Is a mediation agreement legally binding?

The mediation agreement itself is typically not binding until incorporated into a court order. Until court approval, a mediation agreement does not have the force of a judgment or custody order. Once the court approves it as part of your judgment of divorce or custody order, it becomes enforceable just like any court order.

How much does mediation cost in Michigan?

Mediators typically charge $200 to $400 per hour, with costs split between parties. Total mediation costs often range from $1,500 to $5,000 per party depending on complexity and number of sessions needed. Actual costs vary based on case complexity, number of sessions, and attorney involvement. This is usually far less than the cost of litigation.

What if mediation doesn’t work?

If you can’t reach agreement, you still have the option to litigate. Mediation is a problem-solving process, not a guarantee of settlement, and unsuccessful mediation does not prejudice either party’s right to litigate. Nothing said in mediation can be used against you in court. Many couples resolve some issues in mediation and litigate only the remaining disputes, which still saves time and money.

Can I bring my attorney to mediation sessions?

Yes. You can have your attorney attend sessions, consult between sessions, or simply review the final agreement. The choice depends on your comfort level, the complexity of issues, and your budget. Attorney review before signing is strongly recommended even if attorneys do not attend mediation sessions.

Are mediators allowed to give legal advice?

No. Mediators do not provide legal advice or advocate for either party. Their role is to facilitate communication and help both parties reach agreement. This is why independent legal review is essential before signing any mediation agreement.

What happens if one party doesn’t disclose financial information honestly?

Failure to fully disclose financial information can invalidate mediated agreements and lead to future legal challenges. Mediation relies on both parties sharing complete and accurate information. If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets, you may need the formal discovery tools available through litigation.

Take the Next Step: Explore Whether Mediation Is Right for You

Mediation offers Michigan families a path through divorce and custody disputes that preserves resources, relationships, and dignity. It’s not right for everyone, but for many couples, it’s the smartest approach to reaching resolution.

At Boroja, Bernier & Associates, our family law attorneys help clients in Macomb County, Oakland County, Wayne County, and throughout Southeast Michigan evaluate whether mediation fits their situation and navigate the process effectively. With our main office in Shelby Township and satellite offices in Troy, Ann Arbor, and Lansing, we’re here to help you find the best path forward.

To schedule a consultation with the Michigan family law attorneys at Boroja, Bernier & Associates, call our law offices at (586) 991-7611. We’ll help you understand your options and determine whether mediation could work for your family.