Most adult children assume their parents have estate planning handled. After all, your parents have always had things under control. They raised you, managed a household, built careers. Surely they’ve thought about what happens next.
This assumption is where many Michigan families get hurt.
The problem isn’t that parents don’t care about planning. It’s that planning feels abstract until it’s urgent—and by then, options have narrowed. Documents get drafted and forgotten. Life changes happen without legal updates. Powers of attorney sit in filing cabinets with outdated agents or missing signatures. The plan that exists on paper may no longer match reality.
Having this conversation isn’t about prying into your parents’ finances. It’s about making sure that when decisions need to be made—medical, financial, legal—someone has the authority to make them. Without that authority, families watch helplessly while courts decide instead.
At Boroja, Bernier & Associates, we help Michigan families navigate these sensitive conversations and create plans that actually work when they’re needed. Here’s how to approach the topic and what documents truly matter.
Why This Conversation Cannot Wait
Many families delay the estate planning conversation because it feels uncomfortable—or because they assume everything is already in place. Both instincts are understandable. Both can be costly.
According to surveys, more than 60% of American adults do not have a will, and even fewer have comprehensive estate plans that include powers of attorney and healthcare directives. Among older adults, many have outdated documents that no longer reflect their current wishes, family circumstances, or Michigan law.
The most common mistake families make is confusing the existence of documents with the presence of a plan. Having a will drafted fifteen years ago is not the same as having a current, comprehensive estate plan. Having “something in a drawer” is not the same as having documents that will actually be accepted by banks, hospitals, and courts.
Without proper estate planning, your parents’ affairs could end up in Michigan probate court—a public, time-consuming, and expensive process. Under Michigan law, if someone dies without a will (known as dying “intestate”), their assets are distributed according to a rigid statutory formula under MCL 700.2101 – MCL 700.2114, regardless of what your parents might have wanted.
Even more concerning is what happens if one of your parents becomes incapacitated without proper planning. Without a valid power of attorney, family members may need to petition the court for guardianship or conservatorship under MCL 700.5301 and MCL 700.5401—a process that can take months, cost thousands of dollars, and strip your parent of decision-making authority entirely.
The bottom line: having this conversation now protects your parents’ wishes, their dignity, and your family’s peace of mind.
How to Start the Estate Planning Conversation
Starting this discussion does not mean demanding to see your parents’ bank statements or pressuring them into decisions. It means opening a door with respect and empathy.
Many adult children approach this conversation focused on what they need to know. That’s understandable—but it’s not the framing that works. Parents are more likely to engage when the conversation centers on what they want to protect: their independence, their choices, their ability to stay in control.
Consider approaching the topic indirectly at first. You might mention an article you read about estate planning, share a story about a friend whose family struggled after a parent’s death, or even talk about your own estate planning efforts. Phrases like “I’ve been thinking about the future” or “I want to make sure we’re prepared if anything happens” can ease into the subject naturally.
Choose a calm, private moment—not during a holiday gathering or stressful event. Make it clear that you respect their autonomy and privacy. You are not asking to control their decisions; you are asking to be prepared to support them when the time comes.
Many parents feel relieved once the conversation begins. They may have been worrying about these same issues but did not know how to bring them up.
Essential Estate Planning Documents for Michigan Residents
Once your parents are open to the conversation, you will want to understand what documents should be part of a comprehensive Michigan estate plan. Each serves a specific purpose, and together they create a safety net for your parents and your family.
Last Will and Testament
A will is the foundation of most estate plans. Under Michigan law, a valid will must be signed by the person making it (the testator) and witnessed by two individuals, as required by MCL 700.2502. The will names a personal representative (sometimes called an executor) to manage the estate and specifies how assets should be distributed after death.
Key questions to discuss with your parents include whether they have a current will, when it was last updated, who is named as personal representative, and where the original document is stored. Wills that are more than five years old or that were created before major life changes—like the death of a spouse, birth of grandchildren, or significant changes in assets—should be reviewed by an experienced estate planning attorney.
A will that exists but hasn’t been updated is often worse than no will at all. It creates false confidence while potentially directing assets to the wrong people or naming agents who are no longer appropriate.
Revocable Living Trust
Many Michigan families benefit from establishing a revocable living trust in addition to or instead of a will. A trust allows assets to pass to beneficiaries without going through probate, which can save time and maintain privacy.
If your parents have a trust, confirm that it has been properly funded—meaning their home, bank accounts, and investments have been retitled in the name of the trust. An unfunded trust provides no benefit. This is one of the most common planning failures: families assume the trust protects assets, only to discover after a parent’s death that nothing was ever transferred into it.
Also verify who is named as successor trustee to manage the trust if your parents become incapacitated or pass away.
Durable Financial Power of Attorney
A durable financial power of attorney is perhaps the most critical document for protecting your parents during their lifetime. This document, authorized under the Michigan Uniform Power of Attorney Act MCL 556.201 et seq., allows your parents to name a trusted agent to handle financial matters on their behalf if they become unable to do so themselves.
Without a valid power of attorney, your family could face a lengthy and expensive conservatorship proceeding in probate court just to pay your parents’ bills or manage their investments. Michigan law allows powers of attorney to be “durable,” meaning they remain effective even after the principal becomes incapacitated—but only if the document specifically says so.
Here’s where many families get tripped up: financial institutions are not required to accept every power of attorney. Banks and investment companies frequently reject documents that are old, unclear, or missing specific language. Many prefer their own forms. A power of attorney that worked fine ten years ago may be refused when you actually need to use it.
It is wise to ask your parents’ banks and investment companies whether they require specific documentation—before a crisis forces the question.
Medical Power of Attorney (Patient Advocate Designation)
Under Michigan’s Patient Advocate Designation Act (MCL 700.5506 – MCL 700.5512), your parents can name a patient advocate to make healthcare decisions on their behalf if they become unable to communicate their own wishes. This includes decisions about medical treatment, surgery, and end-of-life care.
The person named as patient advocate should understand your parents’ values and preferences regarding medical care. Encourage your parents to have an honest conversation with their chosen advocate about what kind of treatment they would want—or not want—in various medical scenarios.
Naming someone is not enough. The advocate needs to know they’ve been named, understand what decisions they may face, and have access to the document when it matters.
Living Will (Advance Directive)
A living will, also called an advance directive, documents your parents’ wishes regarding life-sustaining treatment. This document provides guidance to healthcare providers and family members about whether your parents would want to be kept on life support, receive artificial nutrition, or undergo aggressive treatment if they have a terminal condition or are permanently unconscious.
Having these wishes documented in writing takes an enormous burden off family members who might otherwise be forced to guess what their loved one would have wanted during an already devastating time.
Creating a Master Information List
Beyond formal legal documents, encourage your parents to compile a master list of important information. This list should include contact details for their attorney, financial advisor, accountant, and insurance agents. It should document where to find important documents—the original will, trust, deeds, and powers of attorney. It should list bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, and insurance policies. Finally, it should include login credentials for online accounts or instructions for accessing digital assets.
This is not a legal document, but it can save your family countless hours of searching during an already difficult time.
What Happens Without Proper Planning
The consequences of inadequate estate planning fall hardest on the families left behind. Without clear documentation, families face probate delays that can tie up assets for months or even years, legal battles over who should make decisions or receive assets, and the emotional toll of trying to guess what their loved one would have wanted.
Incapacity planning gaps can be even more immediate. Without powers of attorney, adult children may watch helplessly as bills go unpaid, medical decisions get delayed, and their parents’ dignity is compromised—all while waiting for court approval to step in and help.
These outcomes are entirely preventable with proper planning.
Frequently Asked Questions About Estate Planning for Aging Parents
How do I bring up estate planning with my parents without offending them?
Start by expressing your care and concern rather than making demands. You might say something like, “I want to make sure I can support you if anything ever happens, and I realized I don’t know what plans you have in place.” Many parents appreciate knowing their children want to honor their wishes. Approach the conversation with respect for their autonomy and emphasize that you are asking to be prepared, not to take control.
What if my parents already have a will from years ago?
A will that is more than five to ten years old should be reviewed by an attorney, especially if there have been significant life changes such as the death of a spouse, divorce, birth of grandchildren, or major changes in assets. Michigan law may have also changed since the will was created. An experienced estate planning attorney can determine whether updates are needed.
Can my parents do their own estate planning without an attorney?
While do-it-yourself options exist, estate planning involves complex legal requirements that vary by state. Michigan has specific rules about witness requirements, power of attorney language, and trust administration. Errors in DIY documents often are not discovered until it is too late to fix them—when a parent has already passed away or become incapacitated. Working with an experienced attorney helps ensure documents are valid, comprehensive, and tailored to your parents’ specific situation.
What is the difference between a will and a trust?
A will takes effect only after death and must go through probate court before assets can be distributed. A trust can take effect during your parents’ lifetime, allows assets to pass without probate, and provides for management of assets if your parents become incapacitated. Many Michigan families use both documents together as part of a comprehensive estate plan.
How do I convince my reluctant parent to create an estate plan?
Focus on the benefits to them, not just to you. Estate planning allows your parents to choose who will manage their affairs, protect their assets, provide for their spouse, and ensure their wishes are followed. It also prevents the court from making these decisions for them. Sometimes sharing a story about another family’s struggles without proper planning can help illustrate why preparation matters.
Does Michigan require a power of attorney to be notarized?
Michigan law does not require a financial power of attorney to be notarized, but notarization can make the document easier to use, especially with financial institutions. Medical powers of attorney (patient advocate designations) must be signed before two witnesses under Michigan law. Many attorneys recommend both notarization and witnesses for all power of attorney documents to maximize acceptance.
Why do families with good intentions still end up in crisis?
Good intentions don’t prevent planning failures—action does. Families get hurt when they assume documents exist without confirming it, when they assume old documents still work, when trusts are created but never funded, or when powers of attorney are drafted but never shared with the people who need them. The plan that matters is the one that’s complete, current, and accessible when decisions need to be made.
Take the Next Step: Protect Your Parents’ Future
Having the estate planning conversation with your parents is an act of love—not an intrusion. It shows that you care about their wishes, their dignity, and their legacy. And it protects your entire family from the confusion, expense, and heartache that come when these matters are left unaddressed.
At Boroja, Bernier & Associates, we help Michigan families navigate these sensitive conversations and create comprehensive estate plans that provide peace of mind for parents and their adult children alike. Our attorneys understand that every family’s situation is unique, and we take the time to listen, explain options in plain language, and craft plans that truly reflect your parents’ wishes.
We serve families throughout Michigan from our offices in Shelby Township, Troy, Ann Arbor, and Lansing. Whether your parents live in Macomb County, Oakland County, Wayne County, or anywhere in the state, we are here to help.
To schedule a consultation with the Michigan estate planning attorneys at Boroja, Bernier & Associates, call our office at (586) 991-7611. The conversation you have today could protect your family for generations to come.
